What About Your Friends...
Written By: Emmanuella "Manny" Williams
As you all know, I have been blessed with so many great women that I have met throughout my lifetime that I get to call "friends" but this week I want to highlight the 3 ladies that helped me find my way back to myself in a time that I felt so lost. 2 years ago today, I took a trip to London with my Best OSU girls. I didn’t know it as I walked into O’Hare to board my flight to London but I would return to the US 6 days later a totally different person.
I was going on this trip carrying the burden of trying to be the best mom, best wife, best employee, best daughter, best sister, and of course best friend. The stress of moving into a new home (renovating with bad contractors), getting two kids re-settled and working 60 hour weeks, while my husband's plant was going through a strike was truly killing me… literally. From chest pains to panic attacks and sleepless nights, I was dying under the weight of the “successful” life that I had created for myself and I could not keep up… and now this trip. Why did I book this trip? It sounded like a great idea in January when we were on the conference call talking through the details but now I dreaded this trip. Not only was it terrible timing but now as I sat at the Gate waiting to meet Sara, I was horrified. I was the heaviest I had ever been in my adult life (without being pregnant), I hated my job, and I had nothing to show for all of the years that I had spent in Corporate America away from my kids. In that moment, I was not keeping up with the Joneses or my friends. I was embarrassed to be me and was not prepared for this reunion…. BUT I am so thankful that God picks my friends and not me.
During this trip, I was reminded that friends are not just there to celebrate with you but to pick you up when you are down. In addition to being pampered and completely spoiled by our wonderful host Summer, I was also finally able to battle the deamons that had plagued me for too long... but this time not alone. During one of our nightly talks, I took off the mask and was real about how much I was struggling; how things weren’t Facebook perfect and how lost and unhappy I truly felt. The response that I got was a mix of something old and new. Old – "You are an amazing person and you can get past this... we've all been there." New – "You have to take control and do “this” (lose weight, leave or change my job, try different business ideas, ect…) for you". My friends loved me enough to tell me that “I” was my problem. If I wanted to lose weight I had to start eating right and going to the gym. If I hated my role at work, I had to go after a new one. If I wanted to start my own business, I needed to do the work and invest in myself. Most importantly, they reminded me that I had to take care of me and that making time for myself was not only healthy but necessary. Every step of the way they would be there to cheer me up and on but it was up to me to take the first step.
With a renewed frame of mind and sense of self, I walked out of the plane into the “me” that I had not seen in years… a “me” that I had long since forgotten. I signed up for my first Orangetheory class the day that I got back from London. There I lost over 30lbs and gained muscle, self-esteem, and lifelong friends (Hey OTF Family!!). I also applied for and landed the role that my girls encouraged me to go after and started making sure to make myself a priority. As I look into jumping into the unknown of entrepreneurship, I am forever grateful for my wonderful girlfriends and the trip that took me on a 2 year journey back to the best version of me. So with that said, I ask you (in my TLC voice)… "What About Your Friends?
I was going on this trip carrying the burden of trying to be the best mom, best wife, best employee, best daughter, best sister, and of course best friend. The stress of moving into a new home (renovating with bad contractors), getting two kids re-settled and working 60 hour weeks, while my husband's plant was going through a strike was truly killing me… literally. From chest pains to panic attacks and sleepless nights, I was dying under the weight of the “successful” life that I had created for myself and I could not keep up… and now this trip. Why did I book this trip? It sounded like a great idea in January when we were on the conference call talking through the details but now I dreaded this trip. Not only was it terrible timing but now as I sat at the Gate waiting to meet Sara, I was horrified. I was the heaviest I had ever been in my adult life (without being pregnant), I hated my job, and I had nothing to show for all of the years that I had spent in Corporate America away from my kids. In that moment, I was not keeping up with the Joneses or my friends. I was embarrassed to be me and was not prepared for this reunion…. BUT I am so thankful that God picks my friends and not me.
During this trip, I was reminded that friends are not just there to celebrate with you but to pick you up when you are down. In addition to being pampered and completely spoiled by our wonderful host Summer, I was also finally able to battle the deamons that had plagued me for too long... but this time not alone. During one of our nightly talks, I took off the mask and was real about how much I was struggling; how things weren’t Facebook perfect and how lost and unhappy I truly felt. The response that I got was a mix of something old and new. Old – "You are an amazing person and you can get past this... we've all been there." New – "You have to take control and do “this” (lose weight, leave or change my job, try different business ideas, ect…) for you". My friends loved me enough to tell me that “I” was my problem. If I wanted to lose weight I had to start eating right and going to the gym. If I hated my role at work, I had to go after a new one. If I wanted to start my own business, I needed to do the work and invest in myself. Most importantly, they reminded me that I had to take care of me and that making time for myself was not only healthy but necessary. Every step of the way they would be there to cheer me up and on but it was up to me to take the first step.
With a renewed frame of mind and sense of self, I walked out of the plane into the “me” that I had not seen in years… a “me” that I had long since forgotten. I signed up for my first Orangetheory class the day that I got back from London. There I lost over 30lbs and gained muscle, self-esteem, and lifelong friends (Hey OTF Family!!). I also applied for and landed the role that my girls encouraged me to go after and started making sure to make myself a priority. As I look into jumping into the unknown of entrepreneurship, I am forever grateful for my wonderful girlfriends and the trip that took me on a 2 year journey back to the best version of me. So with that said, I ask you (in my TLC voice)… "What About Your Friends?
How I Met These Ladies
As stated above, I met these lovely ladies (From left to right: Shani, Summer, Me and Sara) during my grad school days at "The Ohio State University". It all started with a large study group that became just us girls. Over the last 12 years we have cheered each other on through Grad School, the start of new careers, relationships, weddings and starting families. Although some of us are faithful alumni of the school up north (hint: the only one wearing blue at an OSU game in the pic above..LOL), I think that we would all agree to the truth in words of Carmen Ohio:
Summer's heat or winter's cold
The seasons pass the years will roll
Time and change will surely (truly) show
How firm thy friendship ... OHIO