Mom Squad
Written By: Shanelle Fisher
Before we had children, my husband and I had very full lives. We both had demanding careers that required frequent travel. When we weren’t traveling for work we would pick up and travel on whim for fun. On the weekends we would hang out with friends, have dinner at the new restaurant that just opened, or drinks at that new trendy bar. Once we decided to have children we knew our lives would change. I read the blogs, spoke to friends who had kids, and felt like I was ready and ok with what was to come. Well, as any parent will tell you, nothing can truly prepare you for parenthood.
As a new mother, I struggled to find my footing. We lived in a city without any family, so it was just the three of us---well four if you count our dog. It didn’t help that we were the first couple in our immediate group of friends to have a child. We would often get calls at 8pm to meet up for dinner---um, that’s when I’m doing bedtime routine. I had to decline and explain to our friends that we needed more notice to find a sitter. Gone were the days of last minute plans. In all honesty, I did not miss the bars and late dinners, but I did miss connecting with other adults. While on maternity leave, I missed work, but the thought of leaving my child and having to return to work terrified me. I would have anxiety when I considered how I would manage a career and an infant. Even when I returned to work, I slowly felt as though my life had become a series of work days and mom nights. I was trying desperately not to completely lose myself and all sense of who I was as a person outside of my role of wife and mother. I decided to go on Meetup and join some mom groups in my area. I thought it would be a good way to connect with other women who were perhaps dealing with the same issues. I am so grateful for these groups. They saved me!
I met women who had careers but decided that at this season in their lives they wanted to focus on being mothers. As well as women, who like me were trying to balance both. We met for play dates with our kids, and Mom’s Night Outs, where we got dressed up and had nice dinners and cocktails. We vented, we listened without judgment, we talked about how tired we were but still somehow felt we weren’t doing enough. I formed real, authentic friendships with these women. Three years after joining the groups, when I had my daughter, these women came to visit me. They brought me flowers and meals (I had over 2 weeks worth of meals) and I leaned on them again as I adjusted to becoming a mother of two.
Last year I started a brunch club and it includes some of the women I met in one of my groups. We meet at least once a month for brunch and bellinis. It’s really about food and fellowship. Our conversations range from what we’re doing to get our kids prepared for kindergarten, politics, work challenges, and relationship woes. I always leave our brunches so inspired and motivated to slay the rest of the month. My brunch club happenings lead me to start a food and lifestyle blog - Mochas and Mimosas. Finding balance is still a daily struggle, but my mom squad is helping me master the tightrope.
As a new mother, I struggled to find my footing. We lived in a city without any family, so it was just the three of us---well four if you count our dog. It didn’t help that we were the first couple in our immediate group of friends to have a child. We would often get calls at 8pm to meet up for dinner---um, that’s when I’m doing bedtime routine. I had to decline and explain to our friends that we needed more notice to find a sitter. Gone were the days of last minute plans. In all honesty, I did not miss the bars and late dinners, but I did miss connecting with other adults. While on maternity leave, I missed work, but the thought of leaving my child and having to return to work terrified me. I would have anxiety when I considered how I would manage a career and an infant. Even when I returned to work, I slowly felt as though my life had become a series of work days and mom nights. I was trying desperately not to completely lose myself and all sense of who I was as a person outside of my role of wife and mother. I decided to go on Meetup and join some mom groups in my area. I thought it would be a good way to connect with other women who were perhaps dealing with the same issues. I am so grateful for these groups. They saved me!
I met women who had careers but decided that at this season in their lives they wanted to focus on being mothers. As well as women, who like me were trying to balance both. We met for play dates with our kids, and Mom’s Night Outs, where we got dressed up and had nice dinners and cocktails. We vented, we listened without judgment, we talked about how tired we were but still somehow felt we weren’t doing enough. I formed real, authentic friendships with these women. Three years after joining the groups, when I had my daughter, these women came to visit me. They brought me flowers and meals (I had over 2 weeks worth of meals) and I leaned on them again as I adjusted to becoming a mother of two.
Last year I started a brunch club and it includes some of the women I met in one of my groups. We meet at least once a month for brunch and bellinis. It’s really about food and fellowship. Our conversations range from what we’re doing to get our kids prepared for kindergarten, politics, work challenges, and relationship woes. I always leave our brunches so inspired and motivated to slay the rest of the month. My brunch club happenings lead me to start a food and lifestyle blog - Mochas and Mimosas. Finding balance is still a daily struggle, but my mom squad is helping me master the tightrope.
How I Met The Author
Shanelle Fisher and I met during some of the best years of my life... my "Gator Days" while we were both attending the University of Florida. It's so funny reading this post because just like her "Mom Squad" we had our "Freshman Squad". I didn't live in Shanelle's dorm but you would think that I did because I spent so much time there visiting "the Squad" - Shanelle, Genevieve, Charmika... the list goes on. Our squad would study, go to the movies, parties and of course cook together. The one thing that I remember about Shanelle then that is still true now was her consistent positive and inviting attitude. I does not surprise me one bit that she been able to move to a totally new city and not only meet people but create deep and meaningful friendships. Phenomenal woman that is Shanelle - career woman, amazing wife, super mom, great friend, and most importantly a great cook who still keeps her girlish figure (where they do that at!!).
If you have made it this far and haven't gone to check out Shanelle Blog Page for Mochas and Mimosas, please go there now, but warning... don't scroll hungry... SO GOOD!!!
http://mochasandmimosas.com
Shanelle Fisher and I met during some of the best years of my life... my "Gator Days" while we were both attending the University of Florida. It's so funny reading this post because just like her "Mom Squad" we had our "Freshman Squad". I didn't live in Shanelle's dorm but you would think that I did because I spent so much time there visiting "the Squad" - Shanelle, Genevieve, Charmika... the list goes on. Our squad would study, go to the movies, parties and of course cook together. The one thing that I remember about Shanelle then that is still true now was her consistent positive and inviting attitude. I does not surprise me one bit that she been able to move to a totally new city and not only meet people but create deep and meaningful friendships. Phenomenal woman that is Shanelle - career woman, amazing wife, super mom, great friend, and most importantly a great cook who still keeps her girlish figure (where they do that at!!).
If you have made it this far and haven't gone to check out Shanelle Blog Page for Mochas and Mimosas, please go there now, but warning... don't scroll hungry... SO GOOD!!!
http://mochasandmimosas.com